Dealing with Toxic Management as an Employee: Shielding Your Sanity

The easy answer is … find a new job! But it is easier said than done. What can we do in that case? How can we cope?

Every article I write is part of my experience and life lessons, or something I researched and learned. My aim is to share it so others don't fall in the same mistakes.

Before we begin, if you are following my articles, you probably know that I have been here and there and everywhere to seek knowledge of management and address the same situation in different ways. And I think I have achieved that :)

While doing so, I interacted with many "not nice" management members and management styles; it is always challenging and soul-destroying. It makes you doubt yourself and your capabilities indirectly (as part of their incompetency).

Stagwell put numbers on the trap: 66% of people with a toxic boss say they're actively job-hunting — yet most (72%) have to stay in their job for financial reasons, and 65% cannot quit because they would lose their benefits.

So what I want to discuss here are two things: how to quickly spot the signs of toxic or incompetent management — then maybe reverse that step and go back to your previous job! — and second, how to cope in those situations until we find a new job.

Introduction

What is a toxic environment? It is characterized by a cocktail of detrimental behaviors — from micromanagement and undue criticism to outright disrespect and manipulation. Such environments challenge one's professional resilience and personal well-being.

As per Forbes: after toxic corporate culture, the other top predictors of worker attrition are job insecurity and reorganization (3.5%); high levels of innovation (3.2%); failure to recognize employee performance (2.9%); and poor response to Covid-19 (1.8%). Low compensation actually ranked 16th among the topics predicting turnover. Perhaps the most shocking finding was that corporate culture predicted employee exodus more than burnout or compensation.

How to Spot It?

Okay, let's talk quickly about the types of things you find in a toxic environment or in a company led by incompetent management. I will mention the ones that are really red flags for me (sorted from my perspective), but if you Googled or asked an AI, you would find a bunch more.

Unfair Criticism & Public Humiliation

Wrong management mistake (ignoring what you were highlighting for the past months?), a big task is thrown at you, overworking and extra hours, more wrong decisions from the management, it is sinking, they lose their temper and blame you!!

Criticizing employees harshly or in public undermines confidence and morale.

Lack of Transparency & Poor Communication

This one drives me crazy: how do you expect me to do my job properly, or be able to lead my team to success, without sharing information with me!! It just leads to mistrust and lack of confidence, leaving everyone in confusion and bumping into each other.

Playing Favorites & Ignoring Feedback

I think all of us have seen this; I will not add a definition here. It is not only that you are walking in the wrong direction because you and your deputy like each other's ideas — you also ignore the lookout sailor shouting "iceberg ahead!". So stupid AND frustrating!!

Micromanagement

One of the most annoying (for me) things is "write the e-mail and pass it by me before sending it" combined with "write it this way, I like it more (no feedback on why)", and it keeps changing for 15 minutes. I understand any concerns you will raise about what I just said, but I am also sure that you and I know exactly what I mean.

Overseeing every minor detail of work stifles creativity and independence among employees.

Coping Mechanisms

Stagwell also found that 71% of workers have anxiety on weekends about returning to work on Monday. Sounds familiar? I have been there more than once. Here are some ideas from my experience, and from my reads, that I hope can help you too :) — that doesn't mean you should stop looking for another job.

Stay Sane and On Top of the Game

• Make sure action items are clear at the end of any discussion or meeting. If it is an e-mail, reply back with the action items.
• When going to a discussion, take a notebook with the things you need to discuss written in it.
• Share a "pending" list of yours, and make sure it is short — otherwise you are going to make your manager angry.
• Try to funnel all communications to official channels (for a reason).
• Keep a list of all your achievements; you will need it to boost your morale, and for the appraisal review meetings :)
• Maybe ask for more work when you don't have enough?

Create Your Own Bubble (If Possible)

In other words, try to isolate yourself from the toxic teams and team members, and focus on your work more than on the environment until you find another job. Be passive, deliver your tasks on time, with minimum problems.

Seeking Support (Be Careful!)

Seek support from peers or mentors, or try to move under another manager who has a good reputation. Just be careful you don't fall in with the wrong dude :)

Documenting Experiences

Usually that sounds scary, but when sh^& hits the fan, you will need it. That's why I keep saying: try to funnel everything to an official channel.

Improving the Environment

If you are a manager and reading this: please have a real open-door policy, have an informal communication channel, walk among your team and collect their feedback, and make your team's life better and more bearable. Life is already hard on all of us :)

When to Consider Leaving

I have been in a toxic environment where I was very well paid and in my own bubble (yes, I was lucky) — that is a good place to stay until you are pushed out of your bubble. But it is not a good idea to stay in your bubble for a long time; then you are out of the market.

On the other hand, I was in a fantastic environment where I was also very well paid, but I had no work-life balance. I liked what I was doing — that is wrong :) … However, some restructuring happened and I moved under a narcist manager who turned my life into hell in a matter of 4 months, and since the first month with that manager, I started looking for a job. I used the mechanisms above to stay away from being laid off or publicly humiliated (most of the time), until I was blessed with a job :)

Bottom line: you are the only one who knows when to do it. If your work makes you unhappy for whatever reason, then it is time to get to the root cause — and if the root cause is the workplace, and you can't change it… then I think it is time to leave!

Where Taqdim fits

When it's time to leave, the next job has to be chosen with clear eyes — the same red flags live inside job descriptions. Taqdim helps you read a posting honestly before you apply, so you don't walk out of one toxic environment into another. Taqdim is in closed beta. Join the waitlist.

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Originally published on Medium on 25 Jul 2024.